Be Careful What You Wish For

At the beginning of this pandemic my husband’s job was downsized.  Suddenly he was home all the time “trying to help.”  He didn’t know what to do with himself and he kept getting in my way.  I was trying to cook and clean and work and do all the things I usually do.  But every time I turned around, something was moved, it was half-done, or he was standing there.  I became so frustrated I walked away and let it all up to him.  (It was better than fighting, right?)

I prayed that he would get a job.  I knew he had job offers, but I wished he would just go back to work and get out from under my feet.  Him being home 24/7 was not good for our marriage!

When he finally accepted one of the jobs, they sent him to “fill in for someone.”  This job took him away for weeks at a time.  I didn’t know when he would be home or where they would send him next.  We were in the middle of a pandemic.  Would he get sick?  If he did, he would be alone in a strange place. 

I couldn’t wait for him to come home for a visit.  But what if he brought it home to me?  Some of these places they sent him were hot spots for the virus.  I was so worried about him and he was so miserable being away from home.

I didn’t know how to support him and I was afraid to have anything but light conversations.  What if he didn’t want to come home because he thought all I did was complain?

Then we talked.  We came up with a plan.  I decided that any issues we had would be discussed in our nightly phone conversations so that when he did come home, he wouldn’t have to deal with all the crap that was going on and he could enjoy being home.

We found a way to work out the details because we made our relationship a priority.  We discovered a way to discuss the bad stuff while leaving the in-person time for better things.  And I learned that I would rather have him under my feet than not see him for weeks.  I also learned to be careful what I wish for!